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The Secrets of My Success: If You Can Dream It, You Can Manifest It (Special Guest Writer Gov. Rick Scott*)

by Gov. Rick Scott

Photo by the Rick Scott for Governor Campaign

The six traits that I adopted to achieve success as a man of means and action. Heck, I'm a governor! Want to succeed in life? Emulate the successful! Try out these six traits and you can do what I do.

1) Assertiveness
If something is rightfully yours, don’t be afraid to claim it. If something should be yours, don’t be afraid to take it. This might be a a physical object, like a car you’ve been itching to buy, or something intangible that boosts your socioeconomic status, like the promotion that you’ve been angling for. Assertiveness doesn’t come naturally to some people, so be sure to give yourself a bit of practice before using it for real. Tell your phone company, for example, that you’ve going to switch service unless you get a pass on the next rate hike, as a start. Then, try stronger, louder methods as you aim for bigger, better things. Don’t simply ask your paper boy for his bicycle-- yell at him, make him understand that you need that bike with that bell you’ve wanted since you were little. Eager to meet the new neighbors? Don’t wait for them to reach out to you--some people can be shy-- and don’t just show up with a basket of fruit-- you’re not just anybody. Force your way through that front door, don’t take polite “no’s” as the final word, and make a huge first impression. Alternately, seek a lateral solution to the situation: slip in early one morning and make everyone breakfast. Yum!

2) Animal magnetism
I used to be confused as to what exactly ‘animal magnetism’ was. I mean, you know it when you encounter it, but where does it come from, anyway?

That’s when I considered the words and what they were. What is a “strong-man” if not a man who is strong? And so I experimented: first with cats and alnico, then with more cats and neodymium. Results were mixed, and so I applied my assertiveness: I went right into the park and grabbed so many voles right out of there to sew into the pockets of my favorite jacket, and then slept for a day next to a small particle accelerator that I built from plans I found voted “best” on Yahoo! Answers. At first, there was a lot of biting and I felt sort of woozy, but, later, I could go out on the town and most folks couldn’t keep their eyes off me. Mission: success.

3) Fairness
No one likes a jerk. As you gain power, you will obviously need to make decisions that affect the lives of those beneath you. You need to make such decisions fairly in order to avoid generating resentment. This means considering issues from all sides. Take, for example, the time I had two guests over to one of my many new homes. After some lively conversation, one asserted that he needed to leave. Then, the other said essentially the same thing. Obviously, both wanted to spend more time with me, but both also felt that the other party needed my help more than they did themselves. “Nonsense!” I said. “I can pay attention to two friends at once!” One, still trying to be unfailingly polite, rushed to the door, embarrassed, no doubt, but I wouldn’t allow one of my friends to feel like that, so I grasped him in one of my famous hugs and escorted him-- along with the other friend-- to the guest room, where I gave them some privacy to talk it out.

Even now, one or the other will feel generous and ask to give me time alone with their counterparty. I remember my fairness, though,and so I knock on the door and say, “Nice try! It’s okay!”

4) Physical perfection
It’s not just brains and heart that make a man: you’ve got to take care of the body, too. I used to be like you are, now, probably: weak and scrawny, body nearly rent in two by sores and rot. This is because I neglected my physical form in favor of focusing on my mind. All things must be done in moderation, I found out!

This is how I became a disciple of parkour, the French art of creative sport-running. With my parkouring, I became strong and limber, able to simultaneously travel my neighborhood as I kept watch over it for friends and foes alike. It was seldom that a night went by when my neighbors wouldn’t cheer me on from behind shuddered windows, shouting thanks for my vigor and stamina. Later, I added weight-lifting to my routine. Note that metal weights can get expensive-- stones work. Organically-grown substitutes provide another option-- they can be tough to find at first, but once you find them, they’ll provide a continual challenge by how they change grip textures and weight distribution over time.

5) Logicality
Don’t be afraid to override the animal impulses of your brain. I’ve had to train myself over the years on what needs to be ignored and what needs to be obeyed. Have you ever had an experience when your animal-brain has told you with every fiber of your being that you need to hide, or run? These are things that a lesser man might do, too! Part of becoming successful is to use logic: do I really need to run? Wait! I have a strong body, now, and I am unseen. Take a lesson from another animal: the spider. Wait, listen, and, pounce when it is time. But wait, there’s still more to learn: does the spider, after it has pounced, just leave a mess? No-- it cleans up and stores what it needs for later. Obviously, this is about finance.

6) Surprise
Yes, it’s no surprise if I tell you that it’s going to be a surprise, but so what? I’m here to help!
Often, you’ll find yourself mixed in with the crowd, going about your life without thinking much.
Unless you want to stay, unremarkable, unsuccessful, etc., surprise yourself or, if you
really want to make a splash, surprise others! Think about how fun it could be to take your
elderly neighbor up to a cool, dark space where only you know how to get out.
Mothers are fun, too-- gotcha! Joke! Seriously, though, just ask a stranger on the street:
“Is your mother safe?” and see if they’re in on the joke. Some might get it. If they do, nice! If
not, why not watch them for a little longer as they go about their day, making sure they don’t
ever see you until you can think of a different surprise. How happy they will be!

There you have it! Now get out there and win!

Rick Scott is a successful venture capitalist and the current Governor of Florida.

*may not actually be written by rick scott but i mean come on look at that face with a face like that° you could totally believe this

°he could totally be behind you right now breathin’ down your neck do you wanna take that chance turn around

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